From Mentor at University to Life Partner – Raymond & Faith

They held their Nyom (Jonam traditional wedding) on 19th September!

Raymond Malinga, an award-winning producer and animator, and Faith Kisa, a digital artist and author, held their Nyom (Jonam traditional wedding or introduction) at Kiwatule Recreation Center on 19th September.

How they met

We met in 2011 in Malaysia, where we were studying at University. My family friend had hosted a house party and invited both of us but we didn’t know each other yet. But, my best friend at the time knew him from a dancing show called Hot Steps, where he had been a finalist break dancer during the season that had aired the year before. During the party, all he did was interact with Raymond so I was totally ignored as they exchanged fun break dancing moves. Well, that’s all I remember about that night as I was totally irritated about how I had been totally disregarded and ignored.

Anyway, after that night I met him several times again with my friend but as usual they were always way too excited to see each other and I always ended up being ignored. So, I actually really disliked Raymond because I thought he was rude.

Fast foward to 2012 – I needed a peer mentor because I really wanted to up my grades to straight As. My family friend recommended Raymond as someone who was really good at Animation and capable of helping me better my grades. When I reached out, he agreed and began mentoring me soon afterwards.

To my surprise, Raymond wasn’t rude at all. He was so committed to seeing me get top grades. I began to solidify my scholarly goals and future career goals with him and he made me gain so much confidence. Soon, everyone started assuming we were going out because he was always in my house helping me out with work. But, I found this ridiculous because I never really saw us like that. Everyone; from my sister to family friends and friends kept saying we really looked good together but I always laughed it off.

One day as we were working Raymond confessed to me that he actually liked me and wanted to go out with me. At the time, I wasn’t ready to go into a relationship as I was having a breakdown from an overwhelming semester, health struggles (being underweight) and just generally a stressful life coping as a young adult in a foreign country (Malaysia).

My answer to his confession caused a rift between us and that is when I realised I loved him. I eventually reached out to him after not talking for 2 months accepted to be his girlfriend. That was 2013. Since that day I feel I like I have been with a guy on my team that I can happily do life with.
Raymond helped me get better grades, become more focused and have bigger ambitions.

Getting engaged

So every year on September 15th we celebrate our dating anniversary. By our 2nd anniversary we already knew we wanted to get married but were still too young and wanted to first build our careers.

Marriage had always been in the cards and we knew we were eachother’s forevers. So nothing was getting in the way of our prep. In 2019 he met my mom who he had been friends with since she met him in Malaysia during my uni days. He told her he was officially coming home to marry me. That year his parents visited my mom and dad to make his intentions clearer.

And so at the beginning of this year on Jan 25th Raymond came home with his bestman to meet both my mom and dad.There they agreed that he would come for Kukyala on Feb 15th which he did.

To be honest at this point I was waiting for an official proposal but wasnt getting any. I was feeling anxious now. But my sisters and mom kept thinking he would propose any time soon.
We had scheduled kwanjula for April and wedding in June but corona got in the way. We almost pushed the marriage ceremonies but decided against it. We rescheduled our Kwanjula to September 19th and got to prepping. Meanwhile everyone was getting engaged left and right and when I told my friends I was getting married they would be surprised that I didn’t have a ring yet.

So a little towards the Kwanjula was our last dating anniversary. He said he would make it special and put it at our special get away. I really got dressed up with my sisters, getting a new dress, doing hair, nails and makeup but when he showed up hadn’t dressed up. I was disappointed but we got on with our dinner.

During dinner he realised I wasn’t so happy. Plus he repeatedly kept saying he had lots of work to catch up with. We wrapped up dinner and he told me he had a special photo shoot for our last anniversary.

He blindfolded me and led me to a spot he said was our favorite photo spot and when he uncovered my eyes, he had switched up his dress code, there were petals down the staircase and a fat centre piece with “Will You Marry me”. A singer sang as I walked down gushing in tears. He got down one knee and reminded me how he had promised he wouldn’t marry me without a special engagement.

He called it our lucky number 7 because it was our 7th dating anniversary I cried and said yes. It was such a memorable night!

Planning the Nyom

It was a crazy rollercoaster because of corona virus and our difference in culture. We had to deal with a lot of uncertainty in finalizing our marriage ceremonies and it overwhelmed us emotionally but together with family and each other we kept our heads high and optimistic and it was indeed fruitful.

Secondly we had to deal with cultural differences. Raymond is Munyole from Butaleja and I am Jonam from Pakwach.Jonam is a Luo tribe and Luo generally require high dowry while in Raymond’s culture they are more conservative.
The cultural shock caused some tension in the beginning but we finally learnt about each other’s other’s culture and learnt to appreciate our points of view. Thankfully this didn’t get in the way of us having an amazing cultural function and Raymond and his entourage showing out with some memorable presents for us.

Raymond and his entourage also ended up with some memorable cultural presents in memory of their cultural experience. Everybody lamented how our culture was colorful and flamboyant. I cant wait to see the whole video of the event but my experience was fun.

On the other hand my family as usual gave me the most awesome support as usual. I feel truly blessed to have them. They made the experience so great and smooth and I never once felt alone.