The Dark Side Of Working From Home: My Experience!

In the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, many work places adhered to social distancing S.O.P.s by adopting a work-from-home arrangement for their staff. Some people were excited, others were sceptical, and then there was me. I was glad that I had the option of working from home during a time when things were uncertain. While momentum slowed down inevitably, I still had something to look forward to. Creating new content, trying my hand at voice-over-work, it was a diverse salad of new opportunities for me. It was also the perfect time for my YouTube channel to flourish!  Well, after 6 months, I can say it was a great change of pace, but it has had its dark moments. 

Let’s start light; the lack of structure had me shaking! I don’t think I’m a Type A person, but I do know I can compartmentalize like a mess! With the different projects I work on, mostly simultaneously, I got into the habit of having a specific environment to match. Before the lockdown I would go to work and do the 9-5 (let’s be honest, it was more of a 11-6/7/8) depending on what the task load was. And when I was on my desk in office, it was almost physically impossible to check on my hair care blog, I would maybe write a note and continue looking for stories to share, then on weekends, I’d take a moment to plan and film my videos or whatever kind of content I felt was necessary. Having a hot mug of tea while chatting to the people I was just getting to know, around office, picking an outfit for the day, all that. Now, having everything converge into one house, well, it’s complicated. Losing that structure has been akin to losing a little control.

I’ll sit on my bed and go into movie mode, or edit videos instead of thinking up ideas. Left is  suddenly right, and right doesn’t matter anymore. 
Losing structure slowly led me into the claustrophobia (of sorts). Much as I had set up a little office in my space, I left the rest of the house to the rest of the fam, lest I spend the day in endless chatter and chores. Being boxed up almost had my mind feeling boxed up, and not enough long walks in the evenings could help the slow descent into despair. At this point, you might be asking yourself, “what’s wrong with this girl?

The lockdown was mostly lifted. The curfew is a bit late. Why are you whining?” Well, living roughly 40km away from the city might be a reason for this whining. It makes much more sense to stay home rather than make that constant exhausting trip, who’s travel time has to be accounted for. The hours the Government lent us are simply not enough. So here I am still working at home. 

Can we talk about not having a set time to get out of bed, and convincing you can type in bed, so you end up dosing off till half past midday? No? What about watching Love is Blind until the sun comes up and turning into a sleep zombie? We aren’t up for this conversation? Okay, we move on. 

Which leads me to the third factor; FOMO!! Before all this, I would expect to go out and find stories in the wild. Sometimes that meant staying out till 3am, other times it meant going on different adventures around Kampala. Small small happenings are going on, you know Kampalans can’t let go of a good reason to meet and have some (fashion filled) fun. 

I banished myself from watching Stories and experiencing everything through the screen, and when I wake up in the morning, the view outside my window never changes. Zero events or social engagements, just situationally chained to my small town. It’s been horrible(ish). I love my family with everything that I have but a girl needs some space to expand and grow! Many of my friends are based in Kampala, guess who I barely see? Exactly. So here, with my thoughts and my God, it has been tricky; dipping into random bouts of depression and having very little to distract me from it all. 

I guess that is the point though. It is basically a tough situation that I know I’m not facing alone, and is a testament to the human condition. While there is little we can do to try to change this situation around (for goodness sake, wear the damn mask! Yes, over your nose too), we can only hold on and ride the wave. I wouldn’t have guessed that 6 months after the first lockdown, the situation would still be like this. The ability to hold on, and not let go for any reason, that is call for applause, even if I’m standing here clapping for myself. Seeing the resilience of members of my family was something I might not have truly witnessed. Seeing my mother decide to grow a herb garden and expand it to take over the entire compound full of greens and strawberries and spring onions; and see it through to the first harvests, that’s something I might have missed. Seeing my dad adapt business models multiple times to work for the moment, I might not have witnessed seeing the wheels turn in his mind if I was worried about running to wherever I needed to be. 

This work from home phenomenon may not be too bad, but for some of us, the dark side has helped us appreciate the opportunity of having spaces like offices and work colleagues. They say you never know what you have until you don’t have it anymore. Who thought I, an introvert at heart, would be missing the outdoors?  

atwiine@satisfashionug.com