Fashion Police

Pia Pounds, Zari and Sheilah Have Been Served!

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this column do not reflect those of Satisfashion UG. The Fashion Cop gives zero f*cks about your wounded feelings, so suck it up and for your own safety, don’t dress like a tard.

She might be using filters to make her skin much darker than she really is and y’all called her out on it but Bettina isn’t worried one bit, and neither is this same pair of shoes; which she’s been wearing for the whole of 2019. Betty dear, we crossed over to a new decade….let the shoes rest
VERDICT; BALEMCIAGA
4/10
Zari’s legs in this over cut dress makes Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.
VERDICT; FLOP-ISH
4/10
So Brian has finally invented something; the “poopoo” pose. And bidets are used to wash inner buttocks and anus as a substitute for tissue so I wonder why is he stroking it as though it’s some sort of fancy toy.
VERDICT; MAALO
0/10
I heard that NASA plans to use Ms Pia in this outfit to shove up the hole in the Ozone layer…I guess it’ll be more useful there anyway.
VERDICT; FLOP
2/10
Okay…we have allowed, durags are back BUT just don’t look homeless when you wear them.
We love the shirt FYI
VERDICT; FLY-ISH
6/10
The cut of this dress sums up what I think of Ms Sheila; used and abused. And that hairdo ages her harder than her list of up & coming exs. Sad
VERDICT: MEH
5/10
Girl don’t lose hope; If you keep dressing up, someday you might accidentally wear something remotely nice…. But that day is not today
VERDICT; FLOP-ISH
4/10
Look who took a class in recycling…oh Ms Lydia, I guess she’s recycling cheap table cloths again. Wearing that fabric is no better than eating Dessert out of a trash can lid
VERDICT; FLOP
1/10
A shirt-dress and black skinny pants….how fashion forward. At this point we can’t measure Rema’s fashion intelligence, the scale won’t go that low. 

VERDICT; MEH

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Morningstar is a makeup artist, an aspiring writer, a fashion critique and a pageant enthusiast. The sweetest thing North of the Nile and South of the Sahara.