Fashion Police

Fashion Police On The Prowl: Nina Roz, Vinka, Da Agent, Rema, Lydia Jazmine And More

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Welcome to Fashion Police, a new column where our cop is on the prowl to apprehend fashion and style offenders. Expect verdicts such as Flop-ish, fly, hot mess and flop. 

Hit it!

Nina Roz

I give props to this girl, this has got to be the hottest jumpsuit ever worn to a red carpet in Uganda. This entire look is chic and glamorous. The beret, earrings, shoes and clutch bag compliment the outfit effortlessly and that overthrown jacket is to die for.

VERDICT; FLY

10/10

Hellen Lukoma

Hellen’s denim dress with the large pockets and denim rhinestone cap bring a refreshing way to wear denim on denim. This is chic ‘girl next door’ look and I love it. I also give props to her manicure, it looks fresh.

VERDICT; FLY

10/10

This dress is deplorable, and only so because there’s not enough space on the sleeve for pathetic. Ugly hair, ugly jewelry, ugly shoes everything is just blinding ugly. I could get a headache from just looking at her. And her nails?! Is a manicure really that expensive?

Verdict; FLOP

1/10

Fille

This look is a reminder that even expensive clothes can look cheap when worn a certain way. A good note to take away is that thigh-high boots are best worn with tasteful outfits. Ever wondered what a ragamuffin hooker would look like? Here it is, I guess Fille executed this flawlessly. Even her side-sweep hairstyle looks ‘hood’, then she poses this way and parts her lips like a porn star; not a good look.

Epic fail

VERDICT; FLOP

0/10

Vinka

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I guess if wonder woman and the blue ranger ever had a baby, this would be it. Every element was an epic fail; those thigh-high boots could have looked cute in 1999, matching them to that blazer was just terrible! The blazer looks ill-fitting, her jewelry must have been snatched as she crawled out of the ghetto with those misplaced sunglasses. Then the ‘pum-pum’ shorts make her thighs looks like chicken drum-sticks longing for more coverage.

VERDICT; FLOP

1/10

Fille

Looks like Fille wants to go back to high school and be a ‘head girl’! This is too much ( in a ratchet kinda way). Those jeans aren’t ripped, they are torn apart. The white top reminds me of those tasteless “kundi shows” that terrorized my eyes in the early 2000’s. This entire outfit is the sight that created sore eyes; The fishnets that she stretched to her belly, the ugly extra chocker, the shoes, the lipstick ….its all one big bubbly disaster!

VERDICT; FLOP

0/10

Rema

This is a clean chic look for Rema; good makeup, neat hair, a nice pair of jeans, nice shoes and a noisy blouse. Nothing extraordinary about this look though.

VERDICT; FLY-ISH

6/10

Whatever happened to being classy and having good taste? There’s nothing good about these two slay queens; how about you don’t go to someone’s party dressed like a THOT.

The lady in black lace should return this outfit to the movie set of the black widow! The big hair and see-through dress all read into a cheap lady of the night.

The one in the white top could have passed as the pimp! What’s with the “hoochie” slits? Why is her bra peeping out the sides of her top? Why that chocker that lands in between her breasts? This was just plain cheap.

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VERDICT; FLOP

1/10

Lydia Jazmine

A bad girl by any other name is still a bad girl. I love this look; serving total badass badassiness. The coordination of all leather throughout the outfit brings back TLC nostalgic feelings. The blue hair, sunglasses and that subtle lipstick served up this look well. I’m in awe.

 VERDICT; FLY

10/10

Hellen Lukoma

This look is clean, Ms. Hellen but not so fashion friendly. The cut of that top and color suggest elegance, which clashes (not in a good way) with the peach pants that scream casual chic. The chocker is an overkill though, it shortens her neck making her head stand out like a popped up prop. The shoes too are screaming for attention. Not good.

VERDICT; HOT-MESS

3/10

Winnie Nwagi

This is a much better look on Winnie Nwagi. The combination of that crop top and high waist skirt makes her look classy and polished. The minimal accessories show taste, something we have been longing to see from her. I guess Swangs Avenue finally heard my plea.

VERDICT; FLY

9/10

Da Agent

Every time I look at this outfit, words fail me. Let me start off by saying it’s as ugly as sin! Even the wearer looks like a zebra in headlights. The jumper looks ill fitting, the chain over the jumper is a buzzkill, why was it there in the first place anyway? The cap was meant to toughen up this look, instead, it makes him look like a three-year-old in pajamas. So off putting.

VERDICT; FLOP

1/10

I’m traumatized just by looking at the level of ugly going on here. I’m perplexed as to why any sane human being would go to an awards show dressed like a horny video vixen? This dress ain’t cute and neither are the white granny panties she wore beneath it. The chains on her neck and wrist coupled with those particular earrings remind me of stereotypical ghetto women in low budget movies. The Bantu knots on her head are wondering why the rest of the outfit decided to show up.

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The guy next to her is breathtakingly pathetic, a little wonder they were there together.

VERDICT; FLOP

0/10

Feel free to share your verdict in the message box below.

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Morningstar is a makeup artist, an aspiring writer, a fashion critique and a pageant enthusiast. The sweetest thing North of the Nile and South of the Sahara.