I have amazing sisters. Incredible friends. And I’m rather partial to a pretty dress or six. But I’m not having bridesmaids at my wedding. I know this might seem a little strange and I get that this is one of life’s biggest milestones, but it shouldn’t cost somebody that much money and multiple appointments, events, planning, and a hectic bridal entourage of twelve. I’ve been to one wedding in the past year and will attend another friend’s wedding before this year ends, they’re both keeping it very low key and I too am inspired. It’s a trend we’ve seen more and more of these days so I figured, seeing as we have been called to have “scientific weddings”, it was as good a time as any, to talk about why it’s okay not to have bridesmaids too.
I Want My Friends to Just Relax and have fun
Just like we have friends who are amazing chefs, photographers, DJs and musicians, but don’t want anyone working on our day, the same goes for the potential bridal party. I want my friends to simply arrive at our wedding and not quite know what to expect. We don’t want them knowing about all the DIY decor, the dress, the cake, or the venue in advance so as to preserve the element of surprise.
The heavy costs and time
Being a bridesmaid can be a big commitment; fittings, planning meetings, bachelorette parties etc. My friends are all busy ladies, and while I know they would do it in a heartbeat, I don’t want them to have to give up their precious time, running errands for our wedding. I’m also trying really hard not to be the kind of bride who talks to her mates about nothing else, but her wedding, for a year before hand. Everyone has exciting stuff going on, jobs, babies, travels, opportunities, so for me and my friends, it’s all about celebrating everyone’s awesome news and not making any people reluctantly run around wedding programs when they’d rather be doing something else.
I Want to dress up with my fiance
A hot room with all the blow drying, people are popping in and out, and excitement at a fever pitch is my worst kind of nightmare! If I get anxious choosing what to wear for a night out then having people around me when I’m getting ready is enough to send me into a panic attack. We want our pre-wedding prep to be super chill; a photographer’s crew of only two people to capture the sweet moments, no bridal party, just me and my husband-to-be. We will play the blues, have some champagne, and get ready just the two of us.
Awkward Speeches
Inappropriate and embarrassing utterances during speeches at first made us want to avoid the idea of speeches altogether but instead of the classic format, we’re opting to have an open mic for the first thirty minutes, so that if anyone wants to make a toast, they can, but no one feels obliged to. We don’t want to ply all the pressure of the speeches on one or two people, but we know there are a few guests who’d like to say a few words and have prepared promptly for the occasion.
We don’t want to be the center of attention
A bridal party creates a focal point of a wedding, highlighting some people over others. And sometimes, the bride and her girls can even take the attention away from the groom. However we want our day to be all about all of our guests, to say thank you to the people who’ve helped our relationship get to where it is, and who are almost as invested in it, as we are. We want our cool venue, great food, killer tunes and fun vibes to be the center of attention. Not us.
There are so many reasons to have a bridal party, and it can be such a fun and special time for a group of friends. But if, like us, you’re trying to be unique, don’t feel obligated or guilty because as with every decision with your wedding, you have to suit yourself, and your partner.
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