Fashion Police

Geo Steady and Anna Talia Thrown Into Fashion Jail

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this column do not reflect those of Satisfashion UG. The Fashion Cop gives zero f*cks about your wounded feelings, so suck it up and for your own safety, don’t dress like a tard.

Hajji Bugingo is all shades of fabulous these days, and judging by what is on his left arm, I guess love really does make one glow. And Ms Makula’s conservative dress-code shows she’s preparing for that first lady role; we see you madam.

VERDICT: FLY
8/10

Geosteady here looks like a pick-pocket in Nakivubo; like the kind that goes to the toilet with two large sticks; one to hold up the roof… the other to fight off the cockroaches. Then come out and snatch a purse.

VERDICT: MEH
5/10

Just because you have a sewing machine in your bedroom doesn’t mean that you should use it; your bed-side fashion house creation was clearly made from those fake Gucci bags your ex-girlfriend left behind. We are not impressed!

VERDICT: FLOP
1/10

But this Annet also; Sitting like a step mother on the veranda in the heat of the day scotching silver fish for lunch…what a way to ruin that flattering dress! Plus, just because we liked the door-knocker last time doesn’t mean you wear them with everything, okay?

VERDICT: MEH!
5/10

You know you didn’t secure the bag if you are still forced to wear these hideous flared pants, in that ugly color, with that overly designed black widow inspired lace blouse. She looks world-weary.

VERDICT: FLOP-ISH
4/10

Well it’s a nice dress…. Except that if you are going to visit your inlaws, you try not to look so constipated. Sikyo?

VERDICT: MEH!
5/10

For some reason Ms Brown thought it a good idea to dress like the pilgrims that were served to the sexually starved Boers of S.A back in the 1800s. And the nice thing about this wig is that it covers up the head wound that made her think it was a good idea to wear it in the first place.

VERDICT: FLOP
1/10

Why so much leather? I wouldn’t be surprised if whips and chains followed; Lydia is pulling all the stops with this and the guy is hands-clad like an altar at Holy Communion. But we sort of like it.

VERDICT: FLY-ISH
7/10

Herpes aside, this is the most angelic Usher has ever looked. The gender fluidity expressed in this outfit is so tasteful, the jacket is so chic… I’m floored.

VERDICT: FLY
10/10

Dearest Remy is like a Monet painting; she looks okay from a far, but on closer inspection…it’s a big ole mess.

VERDICT: FLOP
1/10

satisfashionug@gmail.com

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Morningstar is a makeup artist, an aspiring writer, a fashion critique and a pageant enthusiast. The sweetest thing North of the Nile and South of the Sahara.

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