Diamond Platnumz in a Babushka Wins Worst-dressed Of The Week

The week was full of so many events and that means one thing: so many people begging to have their looks torn to shreds.

Who are we not to? Hit it

Miss World. Simple. Elegant. Boring. But I understand the occasion. 7.5 out of 10. I’m not going to waste my breath on your male counterpart however.

I never get over Spice Diana’s ability to effortlessly rock her short natural scruff. Never. I’m an absolute whore for the flawless base of this makeup and don’t get me started on the eye-liner. The white stroke is a nice touch. The hexagonal (that’s a hexagon right?) earrings are to die for. And y’all know I think leather jackets should be the national outfit of everything. 10 out of 10 sis.

What’s with everyone suddenly wearing pants that are intentionally incomplete. I don’t know if this is a trend I can get behind but I definitely know I am in love with that hair. That hair could almost make me forgive the sinfulness of those trousers. Almost. I hate them, almost as much as I hate the pseudo collar of that shirt. Anyone who knows me knows that I love pink, but you somehow managed to make bubble gum pink look so unappealing. This outfit doesn’t sit right with my eyes. The blood red on the heels though…beautiful. Lose the outfit. Keep the heels. Definitely keep the fro. Try again next time.  5 out of 10.

(Sigh) When I grow up I want to be you. When I grow up, get money, flawless skin, a sick bod and an expensive wardrobe. This outfit looks like the gift wrapping on perfectly blended chocolate. I don’t like the cat-eye frame of the shades though. The silver adornments are the icing on this chocolate cake and for the lacy top in the delicate shade of blue I’d kill. I love me a monochrome look. 9.5 out of 10.

Okay what’s not to love? This color is amazing on it’s own. Slap on blue and you’ve got a killer oufit. The model could have done with a little accessorization in my opinion though. Otherwise…yes. Yes. YES. 9 out of 10.         

Parrot is the first word that comes to my head when I look at this outfit. I mean look at the pose you’re even ready to fly away. It’s not bad. It’s not good either. It’s too much for the hair anyhow. Or the hair is understated. Either way the two do not in the least bit coordinate. But I like parrots okay? 6.5 out of 10.

Every one just came to serve looks. That lipstick should have been either lighter or darker- just not that shade though. Beautiful hair and perfectly blended eye-liner. For beautiful eyebrows so sharply cut they could slice, you get a 8 out of 10.

And then there’s you…A school boy gone terribly rogue. I can weirdly get behind this, but for the most part I choose not to. The vibe behind the outfit is interesting. The outfit is not. The colours remind me of high school, a memory that many would-quite frankly, rather leave behind. 5 out 10.

We always love us a good curvaceous mermaid queen in peach. You my dear-look like a goddess. No complaints. This is well put together. 10 out of 10.

My favourite color is the rainbow, yet somehow you managed to take what’s beautiful about that and just hurt everybody’s eyes. The top half is fresh and daring. I’m digging the shades and way to bring head-bands back! The bottom half…fam you were just clowning around. You were just clowning around I’m going to call you out on it. I am crying literal tears having to look at that awful shade of yellow on those things we shall call socks. I am at a loss for any kind of outfit where those shoes would be suitable. A complete and utter loss. 3 out of 10.

This outfit is worth at least 20 out of 10 and look at that smug expression- she knows it. This isn’t a fashion statement-it’s a piece of art. The structure of the dress reflects impeccable creativity and artistry. It sits on the model’s body like…(insert elucidation of something that sits reaaaaally well) Whatever the theme of this look was, she stuck to it. The shade of crimson is not forgotten solely on her lipstick but its in the nail varnish, the shoes, the cute little edible looking purse. Cold and hot. Ice and Fire. 100 out of 10. 50 stars. Beautiful.

This cut is simply exquisite. Aside from the shoes, everything else is understated, but who needs over-the-top hair with a dress that gorgeous. On theme. 8 out of 10.

This looks like something out of Harry Potter- in a bad way. The whole look is washed out. See people this is what happens when you have a hollywood carpet event at 9:00pm and a visit to the convent at 9:30. Ironically enough, the only highlight of this outfit is the ring on your right hand. Return everything else to your grandmother. I am not Jesus nor do I have Alziemers, I will not forgive and I definitely will not forget. 0 out of 10.

I’m not entirely sure how to feel about the near-lilac shade of blue coupled with black. I just know that oddly enough, I don’t hate it even though the contrast is so sharp. Honey blonde hair on this however cements everything solidly. It’s bold and fabulous. 9 out of 10.

The incomplete pants. How they haunt me. But weirdly enough they look good. This outfit has a retro vibe. It looks timeless. Someone once told me that yellow and white do not belong together. Keke, you’ve proved them wrong. Nothing to drop my jaw over though. 8 out of 10.

We shall talk about the fact that this woman is practically a vampire who ages back-wards later. Silver and shimmery dresses to me are the kinds of things that always look better on the store racks than on human bodies. But let’s be honest. J-lo isn’t human. She is a goddess and rocks a silver dress like one. I don’t like the crisscross straps around your clavicle and feel like something better could have been designed to do the job just as well, but hey-You look stunning. 9 out of 10.

I’m not impressed. I won’t lie. I’m trying. I really am. But the color is wrong for the design. This particular shade of green is already hard to pull off as it is. This ensemble should have been, in my humblest opinion…I don’t know, I’m just spit balling here-orange?  The hair is basic but loses nine of it’s charms, the bag is intricate in design and stylish beyond compare. It deserved a better outfit. 6 out of 10.

You didn’t have to leave the house if you didn’t want to. Okay? No one would have penalized you. But since you decided to leave the house, at least have the decency to look alive. Not even worth commenting. Ungraded.

Sis is your spinal cord okay? I love the pattern and the bralet holds you perfectly. Short of my concern for your internal organs, the outfit is in itself positively playful. But who needs to breathe when you look like this am ‘a rite? 7.5 out of 10.

What are your thoughts on these looks? Sound off in the message box below.

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