Manning up: The Most Important Part of Being in a Relationship is ‘How to Break Up’

The most important part of being in a relationship is how to break up. I realize that statement is on the border between the most insane things I’ve said in life and probably my eureka moment. I want the world to remember I said such a thing. If there’s space on my tombstone,  please, you know what to do.

Just In case you didn’t hear me well,  I said,  “the most important part of a relationship is how to break up.”.  Like it or not. There comes a time when you look at the person you are in a relationship with and everything you loved about them just annoys you. It used to be romantic when she checked on you on a night out and now, you see that as her being a controlling ‘witch’. Where you used to look forward to cuddling and now that becomes a steep labored task. You can’t help imagine the several ways in which she can just die and have no funeral. Or that maybe if she does, they can write on her tombstone in comic sans font. If it gets to such a point, my brother, it’s no use being in a relationship that does not please you. Most men are trapped by money or they are probably too far in the trap to unwind themselves. The advice is the same. Walk away!

It is important to note that you shouldn’t be mean or violent about it. You are not SK Mbuga. Violence begets violence and abuse begets abuse. You don’t have to be a monster to break up. Have a civilized talk. Outline why it’s all not working out for you. Outline how you lost all the energy and make it seem you are trying to find a solution yet, in fact, you are silently a scumbag. There’s nothing as important as leaving both your dignities intact.  If you squabble like kids, chances are you’ll say something you’ll regret and can’t come back from.

Breaking up hurts. Bad actually.  With enough practice, you will get used to the fact that love is just another fleeting emotion. Undefined by space or time and that breaking up is an inevitably crass end. However, before I ruin your Disney relationship,  first be sure that you are absolutely fed up with your partner. Try to recite 20 bad things about her/him. If while you do that, you cant remember one golden moment about her, then go ahead.  Life’s too short.

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