I’m a Medical Student Who Loves Fashion (Yet I suck at actually living it)

I’m painfully socially awkward. Like sweaty palms, stomach ache, hoping for the ground to crack open and swallow you up kind of socially awkward. It doesn’t matter where as long as it’s a social something, in public, online, even in my head.  But there’s one place and one place only, where I rule! That’s in my words. My words secretly penned with so much care and so much concentration you’d think I’m going to share them with the world. I never do. I fear rebuff but stupidly I also fear praise. I wouldn’t know what to do with either.

But while I love all my secretly written words, the ones I love the most are the ones on fashion. I’ve collected books, magazines, followed online page after online page, put together so many scrap books I can’t keep up with them anymore. Dreamt, wished, hoped and pleaded with the Almighty to write for one of the glossies. Mouth watering glittering pages with beautiful pictures brought to life by the writer’s hand. My hands are shaking just thinking about it.

Although I wanted it, working towards getting it was something else entirety. I have handed out my opportunities so many times to others I always thought more worthy, I  cringe every time I think about it. But that’s in the past because finally, it’s my time.

I eventually decided to reach out, to take that chance and you know what? It paid off. Truthfully I didn’t expect it to, I didn’t expect to get recognized within seconds of applying myself and didn’t expect it to be easy in the slightest. I say it would not be easy because I have a CRAZILY timetabled life. Literally every second is planned for beforehand, I’m a medical student. Our lives cease to fully be our own the day we accept our admission letters. Now I know you’re starting to wonder (finally) what a medical student is doing writing about fashion instead of saving lives. I understand but I constantly tell myself, to save lives in the best way possible without feeling short changed, I have to feel good about myself. Allow me to quote  our dearly beloved Mr. Bakka Male, “When you do good, you feel good. When you feel good, you do good.” Typical win-win situation.

Writing about fashion (because I suck at actually living it) makes me feel like I’m not leaving any part of my life to chance, like I’ve utilized every opportunity mother nature has handed me. There’s no point in time I’m going to wake up asking myself “what if?” Because I already eliminated it.

Also, to be honest, it’s much easier to go through life with a little nudge that gives you reason to wake up in the morning. Most times when I get up, I load data (not forgetting our bittersweet pill OTT)  and immediately head over to Instagram or Twitter to stalk and greedily absorb news from all my favorites. Just reading about the new line of Victoria secrets undergarments that will probably never see me, that new winter coat I’ll probably never afford, the in and hot nail vanish combination or the best way you just HAVE to absolutely try when contouring your cheekbones ( that are yet to materialize) or the Met gala/ Oscars/ BET music awards flops and stunners while vehemently arguing with everyone else’s opinion is my preferred form of morning coffee. If E! news knew I existed they’d be beating my door down to offer me the job of Chief stalker. I never let a difference in time zones keep me away from imbibing my dose.

Irene

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