I Have Thousands Of Social Media Followers, But No Friends

By all appearances, Don Zella has it all. The socialite boasts an enviable social following of thousands of fans across all platforms, a long list of celebrity friends such as Tanzanian troublemaker, Hamisa Mobetto and a life of luxury she normally displays on social media. In a world where affluence is measured according to one’s ‘digital social capital’, it’s impossible to understand why and how she would be depressed.

“We just need good people around us. We just need friends who are real,” she cried in a video she shared to Facebook, which has since gone viral. In the clip, the boisterous star looks nothing like herself. Her impossibly perfect appearance (makeup, hair and filters) is all gone, she looks frail, lonely and sick. At some point, she asks someone to pass her a strip of tablets to swallow and get some sleep. “It’s so fuckin hard,” she wept.

She goes ahead to confirm that she’s depressed.

Depression is a common mental disorder that presents with persistent low mood (sadness) or loss of interest in pleasurable activities. The mood disturbance is commonly associated with unexplained sadness for a couple of weeks, lack of sleep or disturbed sleep, loss of interest in social contact and feelings of worthlessness, failure, self-blame and low self-esteem. At the extreme, recurrent thoughts about death and acts of self-harm or suicide are common.

According to a World Health Organization report, 350 million people worldwide are affected by depression. It is also estimated that 3 to 4 persons out of every 10 persons in the community suffer a depressive illness. Unfortunately, in most cases depression goes unrecognized and the condition is not treated properly. And at worst, many people, especially here in Africa consider it to be witchcraft or a spiritual attack.

Studies show that a few of the most effective solutions to get yourself out of a depression include; admitting that you’re depressed and seek help, finding a friend to talk to, getting a healthier routine, exercising and more. As much as we can agree that the above solutions are a little hard to come to when you’re knee deep in it, when you’re a social figure it’s even harder.

And, she’s not alone! There are many of us with a couple of hundreds of followers on social media, living a really cool ‘social media lifestyle’, but away from the Whatsapp bleeps, snaps and notifications, our life is not far from ‘shitty’ – we’re sad and lonely. It’s possible that our peers or acquaintances have not idea we’re depressed. Probably they’ll find out after we’ve been pronounced dead after a successful suicide or self-harm attempt.

In my observation, Don Zella is lucky she broke down especially on social media, a platform that made her. Now we all know what she’s going through. Some people aren’t this brave to open up. Her close friends and family should act on it and come through for her.

Just last month, Brandon Truaxe, founder of Deciem, the makers of The Ordinary, a very successful beauty line with investment from cosmetics giant Estee Lauder, died mysteriously. The accomplished businessman had suffered a long string of social media meltdowns, often happening on his company brand’s Instagram account. At some point he fired and hired employees on the platform, then he announced that his company had closed all its operation accusing his employees of being involved in “major criminal activities” including “financial crimes”.

If you would like to follow the drama of Deciem and its founder, check out this article I chanced upon in October last year. Truaxe needed help, but no one saw the signs. In order to save their investment, Estee Lauder kicked him out of the company he started. He was also barred from getting even close to any of his company premises across the world. All this seemed like juicy drama on social media for us fans to consume and have a laugh. However, on 21^st Jan, 2019, Truaxe was confirmed dead at only 40 years old after falling off a condominium floor in Toronto.

Just like Don Zella, all he needed were real friends to whom he could confide in and open up about his mental health struggles. He probably wouldn’t have left his ‘thousands of social media followers’ in shock and grief.

What’s the point of having thousands of followers when from them you can’t have at least one or two people you can genuinely talk to? This, in my opinion, is nothing but an ‘anti-social’ network. Away from the ‘digital social capital’ you’re building, it’s important that you take some time off social media to make and interact with ‘real friends’. Depression, and pretty much everything we go through in life is so hard to manage on your own. That’s why you need a sizable support system to fall back into every time you’re feeling low.

I truly hope Don Zella gets help!

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