Welcome to Fashion Police, a new column where our cop is on the prowl to apprehend fashion and style offenders. Expect verdicts such as Flop-ish, fly, hot mess and flop.
Hit it!
Judith Heard and Winnie Nwagi
I didn’t know Judith Heard was so kind as to take pics with her bouncers…oh snap! It’s just Winnie nwagi. This woman clearly needs to visit a fashion clinic; the fabric of that ugly one-shoulder jumpsuit is also used to make funeral décor, her hair is not layered well on her head, then we have this junior waist syncher is one of the ugliest things ive seen this year. Winnie needs a good body shaper from Woolworths and carmeltoe is not in, has not been in and will never be in. Can she already give up on trying to make it a trend?
VERDICT; FLOP
0/10
Well now we know how Cinderella looked at the ball with her step sisters around. Judith Heard served up this gothic countess look on a silver platter. The dress is gorgeous and all elements (appliques, lace, jersey) merge to make this a memorable dress.
VERDICT; FLY
10/10
Hellen Lukoma
Let me start by saying I love Helen Lukoma but these shenanigans have got to stop. I’m not all the way there with these prisoner stockings, nor the plain purple bikini and I don’t get why she’s flaunting her cakes everywhere; the kitty illusion is not cute at all and this pose is tasteless AF!
VERDICT; FLOP
0/10
Barbie Kyagulanyi
Barbie Kyagulanyi is having a Jackie Kennedy moment in this exquisite velvet number. It looks fresh out of 90’s British Vogue. The simplicity of her accessories allows the dress to stand out well.
VERDICT;FLY
9/10
Judith Heard
Judith Heard serving “working lady” realness in this gorgeous outfit; the flared pants and work together with the striped top to create a chic look. The handbag is what really sells this outfit though; its so cute, tiny and perky it gives me life.
VERDICT; FLY
7/10
Desire Luzinda
Desire Luzinda’s sequined jumpsuit with the chiffon wings is all to die for! She looks like a sophisticated crossover between the cat woman and Jean. The jumpsuit hugs her body in all the right places while allowing her assets to breathe. The gold slippers and Gucci belt are the ultimate accessories for this epic look. Also, this is the kind of red wig that Winnie Nwagi needs to borrow.
VERDICT; FLY
10/10
Lydia Jazmine
OH Lydia Jazmine, you don’t need to do all that! Let’s just call this piece “100 ways to kill a perfectly good look. The tailoring of the crop-top has me squinting sideways, then the debacle of this skirt-legging; this is the one that had me sip water at 2am in the morning. What the ratchet-mess is going on? It is as though tinky winky cut his costume so he could pee! This is just plain tacky; the cut is provocative in every wrong way, it’s as if meant to give quick access (don’t ask me to what?).
VERDICT; HOT-MESS
4/10
Judith Heard
Nnalongo Judith Heard shows us how to look sexy, African and classy all at the same time. The pink head wrap matches the lipstick to create a radiant pop of color against the white. The flare at the bottom of the dress compliments the simple cut at the bodice to give class and elegance to this look. The simplicity of it all is jaw dropping.
VERDICT; FLY
10/10
Spice Diana, Douglas Lwanga, DJ Roger and DJ Mercy
Douglas is smart, everyone else is meh. DJ Roger should wear those camouflage pants and army green shirt with caution; its all smiles till you’re behind bars crying louder than a jailbird on the third round.
DJ Mercy is wearing his home clothes. This entire look is just ANT. Tshirt looks cheap, tousers are washed out and coupled with that pose, he reminds me of an underprivileged chap.
Then Spice Diana crowns this lot of ugly fashion choices with her overdone hood girl. I wonder why her fashion choices these days fall nothing short of trashy. I think she’s surrounded by people who hate her otherwise why would she look so busted all the time? That belt is so last fashion season (and it wasn’t even good last season) and it still looks like a cheap knockoff of the original. The cap, the jeans (they should have at least been ripped), the shoes and her other 99 pieces of clothing don’t work well together.
VERDICT; HOT-MESS
4/10
Nutty Neithan, Emmanuel Ikubese, Ali Albhai, Salvador Idringi and a pal
The league of extraordinary gentlemen…aaand their lousy brother. The men in this picture are representing casual cool apart from this street child looking chap at the far right. Is this you Nutty Neithan? What’s with the bandana? You ain’t Nelly and this ain’t the 90’s. He just looks uncomfortable and misplaced.
VERDICT; FLY (for everyone else)
FLOP (for the CHAP at the far right)
9/10
Rema
This garment is horrible, plain and simple. If she stepped into a Russian roulette, everyone would shoot her first for burning their eyes. Rema’s ugly fringe jumpsuit reminds me of a sub-saharan zombie; not fully realized. As if the crafty fringe wasn’t bad enough, whoever made this eye watering piece added sequins to it. I’m beginning to think this was an arts & crafts project and she was tricked into thinking its haute couture. Sad!
VERDICT: Flop
2/10
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