Fashion Police

AMVCA’s Get Policed

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Disclaimer: The views expressed in this column do not reflect those of Satisfashion UG. The Fashion Cop gives zero f*cks about your wounded feelings, so suck it up and for your own safety, don’t dress like a tard.

Look who wants to cash in on the illuminati rumors… Not today Satan

VERDICT: MEH
5/10
Ever wondered what John Cena would look like in a dress? Well, with those shoulder pads and lean hips, we don’t have to wonder anymore.

VERDICT: MEH
5/10
I guess her designer is really into peeling bananas and creating terrible silhouettes.

VERDICT: FLOP
3/10
If people don’t want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your “carcass roasting on a stove” dress?

VERDICT: WORST DRESSED
-9/10
We can’t ignore the regality of this purple and gold.

VERDICT: FLY
9/10
Even the dressmaker knows she’s got experience on her knees.


VERDICT: MEH
5/10
This design is clever and effortlessly executed.


VERDICT: BEST DRESSED MAN
10/10
That faux fur throw blanket ain’t impressing us, you’re just another valentine freak

VERDICT: MEH
4/10
Awwww… So she’s covering her ignorant mouth to prevent corona, okay Uncle Tom, we see you.


VERDICT: MEH
4/10
Prance girl, PRANCE!


VERDICT: YAAAASSSS GAWD!!!
10/10
Any chance that the train is detachable? Coz no one wants to drag around that dead weight all night


VERDICT: UGLY COLOR
4/10
When body shapers turn you into a conical flask.


VERDICT: MEH
4/10
Why don’t you pucker your lips too, it would look more fitting for all the shitty drapery job on that skirt.


VERDICT: FLOP-ISH
3/10
Oh look, itscabbage girl! It’s okay to know about purple cabbages but isn’t it silly to try and turn yourself into one?


VERDICT: FLOP
0/10
The kind of dress you wear so that those telling you about your weight can see themselves too.

VERDICT: We can’t score wrapping paper, this is not a crafts class
………………….. Sculptured is the word we were looking for. She is sculptured for the gods!

VERDICT: BEST DRESSED
10/10

satisfashionug@gmail.com

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Morningstar is a makeup artist, an aspiring writer, a fashion critique and a pageant enthusiast. The sweetest thing North of the Nile and South of the Sahara.

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