fashion
12 Fashion Trends That Need To Die Now
The 2015 edition of Abryanz Style and Fashion Awards was held under the theme ‘Fashion is Freedom’. Up until now, many Ugandan fashionistas still believe they have all the freedom in the world to wear whatever the heck they want. They never consider how visually assaulting many of ‘these things’ they wear are.
Thankfully, we won’t need to seek approval from Brian Ahumuza, the proprietor of the ASFAs, we are praying to Fashion herself to save us from these excruciating fashion trends that are overstaying their welcome. Here’s our prayer.
Dear fashion,
We hope that you hear our prayer. These 12 fashion trends have overstayed their welcome, kindly take them away. Also, we are aware of your revolving nature. Kindly skip each one of them every time you decide to bring back a trend from the past.
May these trends be wiped off the surface of earth and bodies of slay queens forever!
In the mighty name of fashion we pray.
- Fur slides
This trend caught so fast, within months fur slides have become every slay queen’s uniform. They weren’t so ugly at first because even Rihanna had a few pairs in her Puma-Fenty collection. Hell was let loose when a container full of knockoff PUMA fur slides found its way to Uganda, the trend spread like a cancer. Now we are stuck with all these ugly looking fake fur laden shoes. Let’s all agree in unison, these slides need to die asap. And Puma should sue everyone that has been wearing them.
Can you believe these are Givenchy fur slides? No you can’t! Exactly why we want them all gone.
- Vinyl everything
Since when did wearing transparent plastic clothing become cool? Well, it’s 2017, everything is possible, but we need to have a limit on the weird things we have to do. Don’t you ever wonder why slay queens only wear vinyl boots in photo shoots and never on the streets? Let me break it down for you. The shoes are very uncomfortable. The heat my God! It’s like wearing polythene on your feet. This trend needs to end before Kampala people start wearing vinyl dresses. Aamito’s model friends already did in that famous Elle UK cover shoot.
This was bad, but we swallowed!
And then Slay queens started wearing thigh high versions of the boot in photo shoots!
And then Aamito’s model friend wore that plastic jacket on the Elle UK August cover. We still swallowed!
Until Kim Kardashian did the impossible and wore these silver boots with a slip dress. We were like, it’s enough. This trend must go. We’ve never been so displeased with a fashion trend.
- Overly distressed jeans
Even Kim Kardashian failed to look good in them, how about you? Looking homeless should never be considered chic, because it’s not.
There she is, making us hate another fashion trend!
- Fur
So fur is a hot trend in Kampala! Desire Luzinda and a slew of stylish people in Kampala are wearing fur like they depend on it. It’s alarming! Wake me up before we start seeing fur dresses and boots on the streets of hot dusty Kampala. Heeled sandals with fur detail can stay because those we can bear, the rest should die.
Desire looking like bags of money in her fur coat!
Unfortunately her famous backside fails to save the trend. Who wears a fur coat in that heat, worse still style it like she did. Good bye Desire! Good riddance.
- Puffed sleeve wrap shirt
This shirt is so cool, everyone is wearing it. And when something becomes this ubiquitous, all it screams is “Get me out of here”! Someone should collect all these shirts and all their siblings, we set them ablaze.
She might be one of the most stylish women on Instagram, but that doesn’t save the ubiquitous shirt from ending up in the trend graveyard. Off it goes!
- Kitten Heels
There’s something about kitten heels that’s just not right. Like an excuse to not wear heels whilst wearing them! If you want to wear heels, wear high heels and if you don’t, wear flats. Is that too much to ask?
Okay, apart from Michelle Obama everyone else is barred from wearing kitten heels.
- Booty shorts
End now. Please!
Set all these things ablaze!
- Satin two – Piece
This midriff baring fashion trend should end before women of all body shapes think it is okay to wear it. Judith Heard can freely indulge because she has the body for it, the rest of us should just run away.
Judith Heard can freely indulge because she has the body for it, the rest of us should just run away from it!
- Bob braids
When Winnie Nwagi wore this hair, Kampala women followed suit and did the same. She stopped wearing it, and they are all still stuck with it. Winnie Nwagi moved on, and you guys are still stuck. She actually has plans of wiping out all photos of her wearing these ugly braids off the internet. That’s how ugly they are.
Smart girl! She has wiped out all photos of her with the hair off the internet! This was the only photo left.
- No makeup makeup
It is okay to wear subtle makeup or no makeup at all. But, this ‘no makeup makeup’ trend that empowers women to wear makeup that makes them look like they aren’t wearing any needs to end. Alicia Keys tried it, and we weren’t impressed with the results. Make up your mind! If you don’t want to wear makeup, do so. If you want to, feel free. Don’t get stuck in between.
Ms. Keys, in all honesty we prefer to see you with makeup on!
- High low dresses
The asymmetrical skirt is a hot trend right now, and we love it. Unfortunately we don’t feel the same way about high low dresses. See what this skirt did to Leah our Miss Uganda. End now please!
See what this dress did to our beautiful Leah!
- Fishnet leggings under distressed jeans
When fishnet leggings meet distressed jeans, the result is always a total disaster.
This is a disaster. She’s too shy to admit!
Which other fashion trends do you think deserve to go to the trend graveyard? Sound off in the message box below.
satisfashionug@gmail.com
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