Manning up: Dealing with Sleepovers

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We all treat sleepovers as a very sensitive thing. It doesn’t matter who it is, it’s always a call for a very long night. If a woman allows you to sleep over, it’s one of three things. a) Her hostel warden has closed the premises. b) You are both too drunk and most importantly she trusts you enough to share her personal space with you.

However, it is not my job to find out what women think about them. It’s my job to teach you how to think like a man and act like one too when the time comes. Period! When a man asks a woman to sleep over (in most cases they will beg you to) it’s because there’s a lot of porridge flowing hot and cold in his brain. To him you are lingering dangerously close to a line that separates a very close friend and an opportunity to touch the female anatomy and feel it close up.

One of the signs that might represent the latter is if the place exhibits an unusual level of cleanliness and comfort. One of the signs that a woman feels safe in a friend zone is when she doesn’t mind you moving your boxers from the seat you offer her when she comes over. However, do not think for a moment that you are safe. Situations can shift at any time . One moment you might be sharing shirts and the next she sees something she hasn’t seen in you before. That’s how the “I saw him as a friend” phrase arises. It’s either that or she has been so full of herself to notice the affection.

Men are usually in control but never sure. All in all, a sleepover is a long sensitive night for such parties especially if you’ve never been in a closed space before. It leaves both people fragile and exposed. It’s a jungle out there and if you sleep off first (God forbid) you can’t help but dream about the different ways that night will turn out. However, here is a cheat code for the you. If you think you can gerrit from her, go for the jugular. If you aren’t sure about what she thinks of you, take the couch or floor. 8/10 times she will feel guilty and/or sympathetic and will force herself on you. It is a female thing. They like to be protected…so remember where your protection is, you might need it.

Philosopher, writer and sports fanatic.

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