Humour

How To Ruin Your Friend’s Wedding 

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December is here, and your bff is getting married. You’ve been planning for this day since last year and it’s now here. Whilst your friend enjoys the special moment, deep down you’re sad it’s happening. I mean, you set 2017 as the year you’d at least get engaged but your man has been defiant. Now you’re planning people’s happiness yet your drowning in sadness. What do you do? Ruin the wedding.

We have a few tips in to help you achieve this.

Bring Lugezigezi during the preparations

The bride comes up with a ‘genius’ idea of shipping her gowns from Europe alongside your (bridal party) dresses. Trouble is, you all have to part with a huge sum of money to facilitate this. Looking at the dresses on the computer and they aren’t your favourite. You advise her to have the dresses made in Kampala where at least you can all go for a fitting prior. She says no. You tell her off, that the dresses look so ugly no one will wear them after the big day.

The worst thing she’ll do is fire you from your maid of honor duties.

Invite all her exes to the event 

She’s too busy to manage everything so she decides to delegate some duties to her friends. Lucky for you, you’re charged with the role of managing the guest list. You include 3 of her exes on this list. Well, you and her exes have history. Since high school you’ve been close and even when relationships with her went soar, you were the mediator. Now they have to attend the wedding with their wives. It seems innocent, but believe me you’re friendship with the bride might end on the wedding day.

Let your kids become a public nuisance 

Your maid is not home and your sister is busy, so you have no option but to take the children with you to the wedding. At the event you’re obviously too busy to attend to them. They then become a public nuisance running about the venue ruining the decor. At some point they are under the tables playing hide and seek. This is okay until the cake cutting session where they just run through and hit the cake to the ground. Ouch!!

Get drunk 

It’s very sad that your friend is getting hitched. You have all been single for years, now you’re losing your best friend to a man. You aren’t sure if you’re happy for her or just sad that she’s going into the marriage. After all she comforted you through all the messy breakups you had that made you ‘hate men’. You rely to alcohol to nurse this frustration. When the alcohol kicks in, you do all the crazy things becoming a complete nuisance.

Make out with all guys at the event

Now that your friend is getting hitched, you desperately want to get a man that evening. Everyone of your friends is married, and it’s now out of hand. Thanks to alcohol you can kiss every single guy at the wedding and not feel embarrassed about it. At some point a woman catches you fooling around with her husband. This is all okay, until people complain to the bride about your behavior at the event.

Show up to the event wearing white 

You’re a fashionista, and landed this beautiful dress to wear. Unfortunately for your friend, this dress is white. You go ahead to wear it. Your plan isn’t to upstage the bride, but the look everyone gives you is enough attention to upstage her. She’s not amused, and unfriends you on Facebook during the wedding.

Take the photographer’s job because you want your Instagram lit

She hired a photographer to worry about the photos, but that doesn’t mean you can’t take pictures. You take photos from the hotel room as you dress up to the final moment of cutting the cake. You take photos and post on Fresh Peaches where followers in the group nay her dress like they depend on it. Your poor phone camera and photography skills don’t save the situation. Social media is later filled with ugly photos from the wedding, all because you were there.

What is the worst thing a guest has ever done at a wedding? 

PS: Don’t  do any of the above things please.

satisfashionug@gmail.com

2 Comments

  1. Anonymous

    December 2, 2017 at 1:15 pm

    What is the worst thing a guest has ever done at a wedding?

    I didn’t not eat food on my wedding day… Because some guests decided that I would delay the programe…

    I will never forget…

    NB. Other people ate except my entrouge… And some friend’s of mine.

    • satisfashionug

      December 3, 2017 at 7:39 pm

      This is sad

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